Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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