It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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