My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
