I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
