phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
