see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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