I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
