tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
