the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
