Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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