You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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