Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
