The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
