I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
