From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
