Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
