is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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