dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
