Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
