I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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