real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
