weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
