my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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