May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
