Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
