Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
