Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize