Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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