I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
