I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
pop tarts are not kleenex
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
