so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Randomize
