come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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