He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
