No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
