you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
