you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
