if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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