It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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