I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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