Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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