I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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