you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize