I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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