Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
