then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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