I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
