If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
