You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
