She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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