Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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