Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
