carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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