like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
