Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
