he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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