I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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