I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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